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24 Feb 2021
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4 Steps to Take Care of Yourself

This is my experience of getting rid of Hate

I have been talking about the writing exercise to discover feelings inside of you, and I share an experience of a discovery I had. I sit down, on the odd days of the month, and explore a feeling to see if I have that emotion inside of me.

I was having a great day and said to myself, “I am going to explore one of the standard emotions people have, to see if I have that feeling in me. I looked at the most common emotions, Anger, Frustration, Overwhelm, sadness, stress, hate, etc. I honestly did not think I would have any hatred in me.

I picked up the pen and paper and wrote, “I am feeling hate because…” and I could not believe my brain just started to pour out all of these feelings of hate towards things. I had forgotten entirely about expressing or feeling hate towards some of the things I wrote down. I just sat in silence after writing, I was shocked.

2 Pages Later

The feeling of hatred poured out of me and on to paper and just kept flowing. After two and a half pages later, I put my pen down and discovered that I had a lot of hate inside that was being suppressed. I thought I had gotten rid of these emotions. I thought it was no big deal. I was wrong, very wrong.

I did not read back over the papers, I just looked at two pages of hate. I realized that that was a lot of hate and these kinds of feelings penned up will eventually come out, and if you don’t do it in a controlled and confident atmosphere, it could come out at a family member, co-worker, boss, etc. you never know. I do know that the negative emotions will come out.

Filling My Body Back Up

Our bodies are a vessel and will hold what we put in it. I had so much hate that was removed it was like a little bit of emptiness, so I had to fill it up. I started listening to my empower songs from YouTube that I talked about last week. Wow, what a huge difference it made to me. At this moment, I also took the time to write a page about how great I am, not in an arrogant, conceited way, but in a respectful way.

I am a blessing to this world. You are a blessing to this world. You have gifts and talents that need to be shared. I wrote some of these things down so I could internalize them and realize that hate was not part of me. Hate is not inside of me, and I am choosing to let it go.

You’re amazing, don’t discredit the simplicity of this exercise, it’s priceless. Rise to the challenge and for one month discover hidden emotions inside and see what difference it makes.

Here’s a summary of the process, remember to take care of your S.E.L.F.

  • S – Search an emotion to see if it’s inside.
  • E – Express in details the emotion you’re searching.
  • L – Let it Go, tell yourself, I am choosing to let this emotion go and tear up the page and throw it away.
  • F – Fill yourself up with positive and empowering emotions.

Mentor, Motivational Speaker, and Coach – Tony Rhoton 801.787.5765

Experience the Power: Be Still – Meditate – Listen

How many times do you feel exhausted by noon and you just barely woke up? What chaos is going on around you? Through all of this chaos, have you taken any time to Be Still?

Your ability to manage life comes down to your ability to control you. If you are frantic, your life will be frantic; however, if you take the time to Be Still, you can manage your life without feeling out of control.

I want to introduce this concept and how to implement it in three stages.

Stage 1 – Be Still

You must relax, find a quiet place, no music, no noise. I know this is probably harder than breaking into Fort Knox but try to find the most peaceful place. With all of the noise that’s around us, your thoughts are like a jet that flies in and out. Finding a quiet location is one of the best things you can do for your health.

Stage 2 – Meditate 5 Minutes

I just heard the groan as you read this word. Learn to embrace this concept. When you meditate, you’re allowing your body to heal. Try implementing a self-awareness meditation technique. How this works is you choose two to three short sentences that you can say over and over. As you are saying these sentences over and over, your mind will start to think of other things, gently bring your thoughts back to your sentences.

The sentences you choose should be positive so that you can get the healing you need. Here’s a couple of sentences I use:

  • I Love Myself.
  • I Am Amazing.

These are the sentences I say over and over in my mind for 5 minutes, being mindful of what my thoughts are doing.

Stage 3 – Listen & Enlightenment

After you have meditated and put healing words into your body, listen. Listen to the feelings, promptings, and thoughts that come to you. Heed the positive thoughts and feelings, and let go of any negative thoughts.

Let me help you Gain Confidence, Increase Your Self-Esteem and Live an Empowered Life. Schedule an appointment today.

Tony Rhoton, Mentor, Coach, and Speaker

You Determine You’re Smart, Not School!

When I was a Junior in high school, I was taking a placement skills test. Let me go on record with saying how much I dislike bubble tests. I digress. The test was almost finished, first completed science, math and now I had to take the reading/English test. However, I was done taking tests, so I created shapes instead. The shape I made was a smiley face.

Yes, I created a smiley face on a placement test, bad idea!

A week later I was called into the counselor’s office, and they said, “We need you to take this special class that will help you because you tested lower than anyone else in the school in English. We need to know which class you want to drop?”

I said, “I’m not dropping any class. I’m not taking this other class. I was done taking these ridiculous tests, so I made shapes.”

The counselor proceeded to tell me that I had too. After much resistance on my part, I finally said, “Give me this dumb test by itself, and I’ll show you I don’t need to take another class.”

She said, “I can’t.”

I Wouldn’t Give In

Again, after tremendous resistance and finally saying, “If you put me in this other class, I will not go.” She scheduled to let me retake the test.

A week after taking the test she called me back into the office and said, “You’re right you don’t need to be placed in this class.”

The reason I tell you this story is because this memory has never left me. For whatever reason, I have always remembered it vividly, and I didn’t know why until after mentoring.

It was several weeks ago I was sitting down with one of my mentees, I’ll call her Sarah, and she said, “I don’t feel like I’m smart. Everyone else is so much smarter than I am. I don’t have anything to offer to the world.”

I was gobbed smacked because Sarah is terrific. She is one of the most talented persons I know of, but she felt like she had nothing to offer the world.

How many times have you felt like this?

Here’s the discovery

We had a two-hour mentoring session so I knew we would have some time to dig in a little further. After about 35 minutes, we discovered why she felt the way she did, SCHOOL!

When she was in 3rd grade, she had to stay in from recess to retake a test, and so her third-grade mind translated that into, “I’m dumb because I can’t go out to recess. Everyone else is so much smarter than me because they all got to go out to play.”

I know the teacher did not mean for this interpretation. The fact is the teacher loved her, but that simple action has been controlling Sarah for over twenty years. Her third-grade mindset is controlling the decisions she’s making as an adult.

You have so many childhood stories that are controlling your decisions as an adult some you may recognize, but others are hidden. Sarah did not realize that she was allowing a little third grader to run her life. Don’t let your childhood run your life. You have experienced some things in your past that are shaping the decisions you make every day.

You need to discover what those stories are and if you want to continue to believe them or not? Do you want to allow a third grader, possibly older or even younger, to determine your happiness?

You have so much to offer the world, but you need to take action, and you need to let go of the stories from the past that are holding you back.

Tony Rhoton – Mentor 801.787.5765

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