22 Feb 2021

Achieve Greatness by Facing Your Fears

Face Your Fears – Achieve Your Greatness

I have been putting this off a bit. I realize I need to just talk about some of the things that I’m struggling with right now and it’s that big four letter word and no, I’m not talking about the bad word. I’m talking about how important it is to face your fears, F. E. A. R. and for me, this has been huge right now because I have had to face this false evidence appearing real.

And it’s a simple, and kind of a silly thing, I had to reseal my bathroom shower because water is soaking into the grout and tile and running into the wall. It’s ruining my wall. The plaster is all bubbly and started to peel. And then I noticed it started to go down into the floorboards. I’ve known this for a long time, a lot longer than I care to admit.

More Damage Because I Didn’t Face My Fear

I have to repair a lot more than I should of if I would’ve taken care of it immediately. But there was a fear there. I don’t know why? If I start processing these emotions, I can figure things out.

I don’t understand if it’s a thought that somebody gave me when I was a child, that someone said I was incompetent and I couldn’t do something. I don’t know? And that’s one of the things I’m working through. All I have to do is buy the sealer and apply it. But I had to remove the caulking. So that meant I’m going to have to replace some grout. And as I started thinking about this, I started to be paralyzed. Like, what if I:

  • Screw up?
  • Mess up?
  • Caulk it wrong?
  • Damage the wall?

I just kept going through this. What if, what if? What if and it was paralyzing me?

After years of these paralyzing thoughts, a lot more damage occurred because the water has been seeping into the grout, wall, and floorboards. Because of this fear, I now have increased the cost of repairs. I might have to replace floorboards, walls, and who knows what else? I have to dry things out and all because this fear is stopping me. Every time I thought about it, I was like, no, no, I’ll do it later. I’ll do it then. I’ll do it later.

How many times do you keep pushing things off, saying, “I’ll do it later?”

Well, that’s what was happening with me. I finally got the sealing chemical. I pulled all the caulking off and as I was pulling off the caulking, it pulled some grout. My worst fear came true, now I have to replace the grout too. With this evidence, I have proof that my fear was real, so I thought?

This narrative started running through my mind, “I’m going to have to replace the grout now and it’s going to cost more money. I”m not going to be able to finish this and it’s going to take a long time, etc.”

It was too late to stop and now there’s no turning back. I kept pushing forward, it did pull a little bit of grout here and there, but it was easy to repair. I allowed this simple task to appear so real of utter destruction, that it paralyzed me for no reason. Is this false evidence appearing real?

Assumptions Because of Fear

I assumed this was going to be a hard process and it was going to take so long and everything was going to destroy my life because I’ll be working on the bathroom forever. In reality, it took a week. it’s finished and it’s the coolest thing ever as the water hits the wall if rushes right down the drain.

If you’ve ever Rain X™ your car window, you know what I mean. The water rushes off, like water on a duck’s back, nothing stays. It’s so awesome. With this realization, there are other things that are holding me back right now and it’s stopping me from moving forward. I can’t let them.

What’s going on in your life where are you are stopping you? Nobody else, nothing else. It’s just your mindset is stopping you.

I will be facing another fear this week, this week. One of the fears that I’ve got, I’m going to be facing and I will let you know about it, but I’m going to be facing it.

Real Fears? What’s Stopping You?

What’s stopping you? What are you just putting off or don’t want to do?

  • Maybe it’s a new job?
  • A hobby that you’ve wanted to experiment with?
  • trying something new that you’ve always wanted to do?

There are some real fears like standing up to a spouse or stranger because you might get physically hurt or harmed and those are legit. There are real fears like that, especially if you’re in an abusive situation or relationship. Those are real fears cause he could react in a way that is negative. But realize you’re strong, powerful and amazing. Ask yourself, “Do you want to stay in this relationship?” That’s your choice and I hope, hope, hope that you’ve already gotten out of this situation, but if you are in it, realize that you deserve better. You deserve so much better.

If you’re in an abusive situation at work, maybe they put you down, maybe they don’t give you the credit that you deserve or want?

Crush Fear w/ Courage

Have the courage to crush this fear, leave, and explore your horizons. There is so much more out there for you. Nobody deserves to be put down to be minimized, to be reduced in any way, shape or form. Nobody deserves to be called any names or put up with something because someone else says so. You can leave or you can stand up for yourself, stand up to him and say, “Hey, this is not okay.”

I’ve seen several of my children stand up for their values against friends and family. They have been mocked, and a little bit ridiculed but what I noticed is things change over time. Actually, respect comes because they didn’t give in because they had the courage to crush their fear.

Whatever your fear is, false evidence appearing real. It does seem real, almost impossible. Sometimes it feels like you may die. Your feelings are real, but they’re just feelings. When you start facing your fears, you realize that it’s no big deal and a lot of times it’s easy. After facing the fear you do it, again and again, just like putting on the silicone. The silicone was scaring me the most.

What’s your silicone, what’s holding you back?

If you’re a carpenter or do construction or anything like that, you think what’s the big deal? It terrified me because every time I would do caulking before or silicone, it was always a mess and would get all over me, blah.

Knowledge Helps to Get Rid of Fear

I turned to youtube and gained knowledge. I learned a bunch of different skills and techniques and ways people are doing it. I watched several different videos and I identified with what would work best for me and my situation. After finding a solution that seemed perfect for me, I tried it. It was so easy and the silicone looks beautiful. It was fear that was holding me back and which created more problems because I didn’t want to face it.

Face Your Fear

Please go out, face your fear today, whatever that may be. Some of your fears are going to be big. What you fear is not what somebody else is going to fear. But what you fear is real, but it is really false evidence appearing real. I know to you it is real.

I understand it’s hard. It took me several years to reseal my shower. Allowing years of thinking to consume me when I could have been done in one week, maybe less if I would have taken care of the problem when it came up.

I know there’s some of you thinking, “Why did you allow that to stop you?”

Exactly. Why are you allowing your fear to stop you? Why are you allowing your fear to hold you back? I know that the fear, that feeling, it’s hard to face sometimes, but as you do it, as you face it, you grow stronger, you accomplish more, learn and move forward.

If this fear was a wall that you’re facing, it just seems impenetrable, but once you start facing it, you start putting cracks in that wall and soon you can break right through it. This is no longer a fear.

I allowed three to four years for that literal wall to hold me back, and create more damage.

Take the time today, right now, identify three fears that you have and choose one of them to address; start taking steps towards that fear. Write those fears down below allow yourself to be vulnerable. Let us help build you up so that you can face your fears, accomplish your dreams, achieved the results you want.

Facing Fear By Taking Action

A few weeks ago was my birthday and my wife surprised me with a trip to an Olympic Park. We took our children with us and one of the things I faced, was my fear. I stared it in the face.

How did I stare fear in the face? I did something that was extremely difficult and scary for me. There’s an activity that is called the drop tower. We walked to a zip line tower and zip line over to another tower, which the only way to get down is to jump off. This tower is about 100 feet high, it felt like one thousand though.

I was going to be the man and show my kids no fear and jump. Well, that was the plan; however, it did not work out that way. First, my daughter went, no problems just jumped off without any questions. My oldest son, hesitated a bit but jumped within 30 seconds. The next person to go was my beautiful wife, no problems; she leaps off the edge.

Every person that jumps, my nerves increase more and more. The next in line to jump is my 11-year-old son, he’s more hesitant and stands there for about a minute. After standing there for a while, he jumps. Oh no, it’s my turn. I immediately start looking for any other way to get down and realize there is absolutely no other way. Feeling my stomach up in my throat, I step through the gate.

They always tell you don’t look down. I want to know how you can stand in a tower and not look down? I look out, and I look at my family below me and realize they look like ants to me.

Oh crap! What did I get myself into?

I don’t know how long I stood there, but it seems like an eternity. I look behind me, and people are gathering and waiting for their turn. Fortunately, the staff was very kind and kept encouraging me and said you could do it. Renee and the children are screaming, “You can do it, dad.”

My son jokingly starts mocking me, come on, dad, you can do it as he snickers.

I start telling myself over and over again,

  • “I can do hard things.”
  • “I’m courageous.”
  • “This leap is facing your fear.”
  • “To grow, you must face your fear.”

After telling myself all of these declarations, I stand in my power pose and I inch closer to the edge. My heart is racing, and I keep saying to myself, “I can do hard things.” Standing completely on edge now, I decide I might want to sit down to make it easier.

NO WAY! As I started to sit down, my fear escalated, and I almost passed out.

Standing again, I can’t wait any longer, but I freeze again. My family is still cheering me on but my fear is at its peak, but I can’t stand there forever.

Immediately I start counting down, 5, 4, 3, 222222, 1, leap! My heart races and thankfully the rope catches me just like everyone else, and I descend to the earth below. When I get to the ground, I young lady says, “Good job. You did it.”

I did it. Facing my fear, I did it! However, I couldn’t stop there; I had to honestly confront it and do it again and again until there was no hesitation to jump off. Phewwwww!

Fear Holding Me Back – Take Action!

To stop fear from holding me back, I had to take action. Looking back on my life, I recognized there were a lot of things that I allowed fear to keep me from and the one thing that got rid of fear was ACTION. Once I took action, once I jumped, there was a little fear, but it lessened more and more as I did it.

In life, you will face things that bring a lot of fear. When you start taking action towards those things that are bringing you to fear, fear is replaced with whatever you want to replace it with.

What things are you facing right now that you keep putting off? Face the fear and take action and use fear to drive, inspire, motivate and encourage you.

You’re amazing, believe it!

Tony Rhoton – Mentor, Coach, Speaker 801.787.5765


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