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24 Feb 2021
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Avoid These 5 Manipulation Tactics

Be Aware of these Five Forms of Manipulation to Avoid Being Manipulated

5 Forms of Manipulation to Avoid – How to avoid being manipulated by knowing these 5 forms of manipulation so that you can be aware of them and not do them yourself, or be used on you:

  • Force – using fear, and anger to get what they manipulator wants.
  • Kindness – using kindness with emotion to achieve what is desired.
  • Direct third-party – speaking to someone else in hopes the person you want to get the message hears you.
  • Physical – using physicality to get what is wanted.
  • Rewards – using gifts to get what is wanted. These forms of manipulation are used all of the time.

I share these manipulation techniques with you so you can be mindful and aware so you don’t use them or be used by them. I want you to analyze your relationships to determine if and how you may be being manipulated. You’re amazing. Update: I will be posting an addendum to this video that hit me powerfully to share with you.

What Can You Do When You have a Controlling Spouse?

Recently I launched an offer to purchase a self-esteem course for those saying they were struggling with their self-esteem. However, there were very few of these women who bought it, so I reached out to them to ask why? The response I received was sad and enlightening, “My spouse controls all of the money, and I have to get permission to spend money. If he doesn’t think it’s a worthy expense, he says, “No” and then I do not talk about it again.

First, I must vent and let you know this is abuse and my heart aches for you. (This is not okay and if you don’t feel safe, consider all your options to gain that safety.)

After hearing several stories that were similar, I couldn’t get this out of my mind, and this article is the inspiration I received to give women that are feeling controlled by their husbands. (This information is universal for men and women, whoever feels controlled.) The steps to implement this technique are already written on a previous post called, Unfinished Conversations. I will NOT repeat them here; please read Unfinished Conversations for the step by step process.

Feel Like Never Enough

When your husband is controlling it feels like you are never enough. You try to please him through intimacy, keeping the house tidy, doing his favorite things, etc… but nothing seems to give you the validation that you crave. Since you are not getting the validation, you worth goes down, weight increases, depression ensues, and you get to the point of not caring anymore and go numb.

You start to numb your senses because it hurts less. The coping mechanisms that you have created keep you safe but don’t help you progress and be the person you want to be. Despite your best efforts though, there are some days you are done and want to end it all.

Please know that you are loved and cared for. I’m here for you. Schedule an appointment here.

Believe in You

I believe in you, and I think you’re beautiful and talented. You have a gift to share with the world, and I want to help you share it by increasing your self-esteem, so you have the confidence to do so.

My message is to help you increase your self-esteem independent of others. If you want to be confident, you must learn how to love yourself as you are, independent of what others think. You don’t need your husband or children to build you up. Their kudos are additional toppings on your already made cake, but you don’t need them.

Start here to help increase your self-esteem, every little bit helps.

If you’re ready to take control of your life and jump-start your healing process, sign up for the Complete Self-Esteem Course.

Don’t Allow Abuse to Hold You Back – Be Empowered

Discover How to Be Empowered by Your Abusers/Perpetrators

In your life do you have an abuser? Is there someone in your life that scares you so bad you want to cry?

Do you feel powerless around them? Are they influencing all of your decisions?

This¬†feeling of hopelessness is how one of my recent mentee’s was feeling, accompanied by overwhelm, and worthless. She felt this way because the abuser had told her this for years. When she came to me, I instantly could see she needed confidence in herself. After talking for about 20 min., I had a feeling to teach her how to use the Power Poster to empower her, and I want to share it with you, too.

First, you need to create your power poster; I talk about it in my, ‘Building Your Self-esteem.’

The Power Poster is a critical component in developing your self-confidence and improving your self-talk.

Second, take a photo of your Power Poster.

You need to be able to look at your Power Poster in an instance, so your poster needs to go where you go.

Third, read your Power Poster

At least every morning and every night look at your poster for at least 1 minute. Looking at your Power Poster for one minute is the bare minimum; however, if you want to use your abuser as empowerment, you will look at it much more frequent.

How Your Abuser Empowers You.

Throughout the day, you will think of your abuser and as soon as you think of that person, look at your poster. If you hear their name, look at your poster. When you start to feel depressed, powerless or scared, look at your poster. You will look at your poster a lot throughout the day. Right now the abuser is a trigger, but they’re a trigger of fear, powerlessness, etc…. You are going to retrain your brain to use the trigger (abuser) for empowerment. In conversation with someone, if they mention their name, it’s a trigger to look at your Power Poster. You think of them; you look at your poster. Traveling down the road, you see him; you immediately start running your power poster through your head.

Now your abuser is giving you power, instead of taking it away.

Your situation is unique; please schedule an appointment with me today so I can start empowering you.

Tony Rhoton, Mentor, Coach, Speaker – 801.787.5765

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