03 Sep 2019
bond together

Bonding Together

Bonding Together Despite Disappointment

I was supposed to be sitting under the sun, sipping Pina Coladas on my way to several different ports. Yes, I should be on a cruise as we speak; however, it was canceled because of hurricane Dorian, boohoo.

I was bummed, really bummed because Renee, my wife, and I have been planning on doing this for 23 years. Every time we’ve saved the money to do a cruise, we’ve been responsible instead, or were we?

Over the years we’ve replaced the carpet, fixed a car, replaced a roof and a lot more with the money we’ve saved to go on a cruise. We were being responsible. Notice we had saved the money. I am not advocating debt for pleasure. We had taken several months or years to save up the money, but when it came time to go, we would spend it on something else as I mentioned above.

Being Responsible

Looking back, I’ve wondered should we have done this? Should we have spent the money more responsibly or what others may deem as more responsible?

The older I get, the more I realize the importance of living, while you’re living. I know this sounds weird so I’ll explain more. There are so many times in life that we fail to live and love life because we’re being responsible. When it comes down to spending money, I’ve always taken the path of what’s going to provide the most extended return on the investment.

Returning back to my sad tale of missing our cruise, Renee and I went up to a condo for a few days. We loved it, just the two of us, no responsibilities and bonding together.

Renee read books, took naps. I watched a few movies which I rarely do. Together we walked on the beach, sat on the deck talking, sat in a hot tub, and watched a movie. We had a wonderful time, just the two of us. This time spent together was priceless, which got me thinking about the value of going on the cruise together.

Value of Bonding Together

Was it the most responsible thing to replace the carpet, etc.? Realizing the value of a husband and wife being united with a strong bond, the argument could be made towards both. Yes, it was responsible, or no, it was not? I wouldn’t change anything if I had it to do all over again because I don’t live in the past. However, I can use this insight for living now.

I’ve watched many couples grow out of love with each other, and basically, they stay together because of their religious beliefs. I am a religious man, as well as a spiritual man. I don’t believe you bail on a relationship when it gets tough, but I don’t think you stay in a relationship if there’s abuse.

It’s equally responsible to grow closer together with my wife because that’s what will have a lasting effect on our family. When Renee and I are happier, our family is much stronger, and we can handle what comes.

When several month’s go by, I recognize the toll it takes on us both, and we gradually start to drift apart from each other into our own worlds. I retreat to my garden and work. Renee flees to baths and books. The kids begin to fight more, the tension in the family increases and the entire system is sick.

In summation bonding together:

It’s important to bond together without children, ignite the passion for each other again. Be romantic, candlelight dinner, hot tubs (even if you don’t like them), games together (not just sexual or intimate games) play cards, chess, tic-tac-toe, it doesn’t matter have fun. Fun is critical for having a good relationship.


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