24 Feb 2021

Empower Yourself by Asking Why to Accomplish Goals

Small But Big & Powerful Question We Must Ask Ourselves to Accomplish Goals, Why?

As you create goals or things you want to do/accomplish in life, you will hit peaks of impossibility, where you feel like it’s not going to happen. You must ask yourself, Why? Why are you wanting to accomplish this goal?

The process of asking  yourself why and answering it helps you to get over despair and continue forward. 

The Pit/Valley

I know after accomplishing something that seemed impossible, you’re on a high but then all of the sudden we fall into the pit of despair. What? How could this happen are the questions that start running through your mind. You start feeling hopeless, frustrated, lost and confused so again, you must ask and answer why? Why are you doing this?

The more we can answer this question, “Why?” The faster we will be able to accomplish our goals because it will keep you focused on your task.

To many times, I’ve seen people stop progressing towards their goals and it’s always because their reason behind accomplishing their goal is weak. You will be challenged, facing peaks and valleys to prove you are worthy of your goal. 

You are in the process of learning self-mastery, managing your life so that you can accomplish whatever your mind dreams of. You are not setting goals to get stuff, getting stuff is not a big enough reason.

Never-Ending Climb

As you climb out of the pit of despair, you start climbing the hill of never ending. At this stage, you will feel like it’s forever off in the distance and you will never get it; however, ask yourself the question, Why?

The more you ask the question, Why, the faster you can achieve your dreams. To accomplish a goal, no matter what it is, you must take action, one small step at a time towards it and have a compelling why.

You can do it. You have what it takes to do what you want to do because you are amazing, believe it!

How I Applied Asking the Question Why

Why am I Doing This and What’s the Purpose?

I have been undergoing some serious introspection and asking this question, “Why am I doing this?” and “What is my purpose?” These two questions have helped me put things into perspective.

Recently, I have had several Facebook friends say, “I’m done. I’m not going to be posting anymore on Facebook because …” The excuses vary but generally, it’s because of some negative feedback they received on a post they made.

I’ve read some of the posts in question, and they were right, the persons responding were rude; however, I had to ask the question, “Why did the original poster they post that? What were they hoping to accomplish with that post?”

As I was reading these posts, I realized these are good questions to ask/share with you and to pose the question, “Why are you doing what you are doing and for what purpose?” This question applies to all aspects of your life because I think you should be questioning why you so you can understand it yourself.


The process of self-improvement is a continuous development and should never end. These questions help in defining who you are and what you are hoping to accomplish. Start asking yourself these questions like,

  • Why do you drive the way you do?
  • What do you hope to accomplish with your parenting?
  • Why are you posting that post?
  • What do you hope to accomplish by making that post?

As you gain a greater understanding, you will improve your communication, connection and love for those with whom you have influence. You will be more purposeful in your actions, which will lead to a more fulfilling life with higher value.

Start implementing these two questions in your life today and see what difference it makes.

You’re amazing, believe it!

Why Have Integrity in Yourself

What is Self-Integrity?

I want to talk to you about self-integrity. I always thought I was pretty integral myself, I’ve had several people comment and tell me I showed integrity and even shared examples. As I was patting myself on the back for being so integral, I realized there was one person I was not showing true integrity too… ME!

I started looking at my life, and I was correct. I would show integrity to everyone else. If I committed to doing something for someone, I did it. Then I realized I was not showing myself the same integrity. I would make a commitment to myself, and that promise would be pushed aside. The ease of not following through was shocking and relatively consistent.

The story I was creating for myself is, “It doesn’t matter what you want, only what others want.” The damage to training my mind to not follow through starts to transfer to all areas of my life. Let me talk a little more about that, one of our greatest gifts we can give to somebody is our time, our word, integrity is our gift to the world.

Your Word is Your Bond

My dad taught me at a very young age, when you commit to doing something, do it. If you tell somebody you are going to do something, you do it. Even if you don’t like doing it or don’t want to do it, still do it. You said you are going to be there, be there. If you commit to it, then show up and do it. The critical reason is we need to have the integrity.

The primary reason is we need to have integrity with yourself. Outside world may think you, have a lot of integrity, but inside if you are not being real and integral to yourself, then we indeed are not showing real integrity.

Let me give a couple of examples and this is what kind of hit me when I was thinking about this. There are many times when I said I was going to wake up at five o’clock and going to do yoga, run, or whatever to get in shape. Then five am rolls around, click, I hit the button and go back to sleep.

I give my self-thousands of excuses, which are valid, “I went to bed late. The kids woke me up, and I could not get any sleep, etc.” I am the master of excuses when it comes to my internal commitments.

My Eyes Were Opened

If I do not honor the word to myself, then I don’t believe myself. I don’t trust myself. Lack of trust in myself is holding me back, that’s a problem. I have genuinely fallen short in honoring my own commitments.

I could, unfortunately, recognize so many times that I did not show integrity to myself I did not believe me. Here’s an example:

  • I said I would stop this or that and I wouldn’t stop.
  • I’ll get up in the morning to exercise, nope.
  • I’m going to take my kids fishing once a week.

This was just a few areas that I discovered I was not being integral with myself. Starting to be mindful of my thoughts, I recognized that as I set goals, internally, I was already creating excuses.

Goal Setting the Right Way

In light of my discovery, I have a whole new way of looking at goals. I only set goals that I want. The goals that when I say them, stirs something inside me. My insecurities are no longer driving me, and I’m not setting goals for others.

Writing and creating a podcast is one of those goals. After my epiphany, I have told myself unless I am out of the country, or where I can not do a podcast, I will be here. I’ll show up. If I have an anniversary, or a family event that comes up I will let you know ahead of time. That’s my commitment to you, and to myself. I’m going to show integrity within myself. The power of teaching your mind and body self-mastery is immense. I want myself to realize that if I commit to something, no matter what, I am going to do it. If I say I’m going to lose ten pounds, it’s gone. Whatever the commitment, it happens.

Showing Integrity NOW!

I’m committing to myself that I am going to do everything I can to show integrity to myself from now on. My mind and body will learn that if I say I’m going to do something, it will be done.  The level of trust my mind and body are going to have will create many degrees of success.

Your Reflection

I want you to take a moment and look at your life, where you are at? What commitments have you made but were not honest with yourself?  Do NOT beat yourself up or feel shame for your lack of self-integrity.

I’m not saying you, or I am awful. You have just recognized areas for an upgrade of life. I just had this discovery and that this is going on. That is why I am letting you know so that you can be mindful of your commitments. I’m hoping my insights help you, self-integrity is mind-blowing to me.

Higher Level of Commitments

I’ve  found that since setting the desire to have self-integrity, I’m completing more goals; I’m living more present. I’m showing up and showing integrity to me and others. Opening my eyes to self-integrity, I no longer make a promise that I will NOT keep. If I say, I’m going to do something wake up at 5 o’clock I’m going to do it, which I’ve been doing for several months now. 🙂

Story of Geronimo

I heard a story about Gerimno where he would have to ride two hours to meet someone, receive instruction and then ride back. One day he woke up and he was sick, really sick. It was winter, and it was cold. When he started meeting the gentleman, there was a commitment of same time, same place every week.

Geronimo woke up, road two hours to tell this gentleman that he will not be able to meet today. When Geronimo arrived the man asked him, “Why did you ride all the way here to tell me that you wouldn’t be able to meet today? Why didn’t you stay home?”

Commitment = Integrity

Geronimo said, “Because I said I would be here.”

Geronimo had all of the excuses in the world he could have used, sick, snowing, and cold, etc. he honored his commitment. He showed that he had integrity for himself and for others. Geronimo rode two hours to meet a man to tell him he wouldn’t be able to meet with him. Then he rode back so he could get his rest. That is true integrity.

What if Geronimo said,”I’m not going to go, he’d understand?”

I do believe it’s true the man he was meeting would have understood why he couldn’t meet up but there was a much higher law Geronimo followed, his own. Mentally and subconsciously when we make a commitment our brains start a connection to make it happen; however, if we don’t honor that commitment our brains begin to create a new story such as, “Eh, he doesn’t really mean what he’s saying.”

If you commit to doing something, do it with 100%. Don’t give yourself or others excuses, no outs.

Commit Fully Self-Integrity

I talked to an individual who was talking about building a business. I told him I could help him, but he had to commit to doing certain things. I asked him, “Will you commit to this marketing plan?” and he said, “Yes I’ll do that.”

It started off fantastic than it happened, the excuses started to come; my daughter had this my son had that, my … excuse after excuse.

At first, I was like no big deal, but I realized self-integrity is what he was lacking. When you commit to something, do it, don’t give up, keep going. If you say, you are going to do it say it from bottom of feet to the tip-top of your head.

Commit entirely don’t lie to yourself or anybody else. IF YOU COMMIT to doing it, DO IT, especially if it’s personal commitment!

I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you realize how important it is, to be honest with your self. Your all wonderful and I love you all. Have a great day!

Once you build trust and integrity with yourself, studies have shown productivity in all aspects of our life increase a lot. I was blown away when I heard that, and I have discovered this was true for me too.


I challenge you, as well as myself, look in those areas of your life where you have not shone integrity to yourself? What commitments did you make that you did not keep?

After asking yourself these questions, then ask yourself, is this something I want to commit to? Then if it is, do not let anything stop you.

You’re Amazing, Believe It.

Mentor, Personal Development, Speaker – Tony Rhoton


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