Go – Do and Accomplish Greatness – 4 Steps Change Behaviors
Teach Others to Go, Do and Accomplish, NOT Stop!
The other day, I was watching my daughter’s softball game. The first three girls got up and struck out, no fouls, nothing, just swing, and miss. The other team was pretty good, and they had our pitcher timed, and they were smacking the ball.
The next inning, three up and three down, strike one, two, three. You could tell the girls were frustrated and down on themselves. Our pitcher was getting exhausted because she’s not getting the rest her arm needs. Several more runs from the opposing team and then we are up to bat again.
Hit or Sit
The coach pulled one of the girls aside and said,
“If you don’t hit the ball, I’m going to sit you.”
The poor young girl, already nervous, now has even more pressure. She gets up to the plate, strike one, strike two, strike three; you’re out. To make matters worse, the umpire was animated and would yell it while bringing his right hand and arm down in a slashing motion. I felt like he was cutting her apart. I know he wasn’t meaning to but nonetheless, that motion was like slicing her in half.
Obviously distraught, she goes into the dugout crying, and she did sit the next inning.
I was fuming that the coach would do this. The pain and pressure young women receive in life is hard enough, he doesn’t need to add to this pain.
I Held My Tongue
The next inning we are pitching and the ball is going high, low and all over the place, our pitcher’s arm is hurting.
The coach walks out and calls all of the girls in, and the umpire calls the game.
Game over, what?
There’s still 42 minutes left in the game. Not wanting to create a scene, I accept it, and I move forward. I pick up my daughter, and we are traveling home, and she told me about the coach saying, “You girls weren’t hitting the ball anyway, so I told them we were done.”
I was fuming because of the message he is sending to the girls:
- When life is hard, give up.
- If you’re not performing your best, give up.
- When you’re down, give up.
The negative messages go on, and on that the girls received. In my frustration, I come home and compose a letter to the head coach. I expressed my disappointment and what he was teaching the girls, etc.
After composing the message, I went back and edited it, and did some more editing, and even more editing. Eventually I sent the email and felt good; however I started to think,
Grateful for Lesson Learned
“Am I doing this to my children? Am I telling or teaching them to give up or quit?”
Unfortunately, the answer was, yes!
Here I was lambasting the coach for his cruelty and the negative message he was sending to the girls when I was no better. I recognized many times when I would tell my son to stop doing this or that, instead of saying, make sure you clean up your mess. I would say, “Stop.”
I am now grateful to that coach because he helped me to realize I need to be mindful and aware of my thoughts and actions. I need to cease saying, “Stop,” unless it’s an emergency, harmful or dangerous.
The word, ‘Stop’ should only be used when your child is in danger, or doing something that could be harmful.
Look at your life, what areas are you holding your children and loved ones back? What are you saying, ‘Stop’ to? How can you improve your communication to say go, do and accomplish greatness?
You’re amazing, believe it!
You’re Good Enough as You Are!
It’s okay to be in a funk occasionally, it’s normal and natural. However, the challenge comes into what’s your thinking when you’re in a funk? Are you thinking negative destructive thoughts like:
- I’m not good enough.
- It would be better if I was gone.
- How can anyone love me?
Thoughts like this are destructive and don’t serve you. It’s okay that thoughts come but don’t entertain them, whoosh them a way quick. Allowing a negative thought to take root does not serve you, or your loved ones.
You don’t have to accomplish great things to be great. Greatness comes from realizing you’re good enough and not in a negative way but that you love yourself for who you are right now, with all of the imperfections. The imperfections make you even better and unique.
Value comes from within, not from accomplishments, but what you feel and think about yourself. When you realize and accept your inherent value, you have accomplished the greatest of all gifts you can give to yourself, family and the world.
You’re amazing, believe it.
Tony Rhoton – Confidence Mentor, Speaker & Trainer • 801.787.5765
4 Necessary Steps to Change Behaviors
There are many behaviors that we have that we might want to change. For example, biting nails, picking nose, drinking, swearing, etc… Whatever the behavior is there are some steps we must take to replace them.
Here are four steps you must take to change behaviors:
- Identify – You need to identify the behavior you want to change.
- Serving – The next step is to recognize how the behavior is helping, what is it doing for you? What need is it filling?
- Change – What’s going to happen if you change the behavior? There’s always a reaction to every action. If you change this behavior, what will happen?
- Create – After you have gone through these steps, you know what action items you need to do to change the behavior.
Sit w/ Uncomfortableness
Any time you are changing behaviors or anything that is instinctive, it will be uncomfortable. The response did not happen overnight, and it will not disappear overnight; however, be willing to sit with the uncomfortableness of change.
Imagine what it will feel like when you get rid of a negative behavior? Think about it and internalize how amazing it will be, accept this as part of the new you. As you turn the behavior, say to yourself,
“This is my new direction and I accept this new direction because it will be better for me.”
Your brain is going to need to be convinced that this new direction is okay, so rationally and smoothly guide it there. By saying this statement, you are reassuring the brain this new path is okay, even though it is different.
What behavior do you have right now that you want to change? Go through these four steps to change your behavior, starting today.
If you’re struggling with moving forward in life. Having a hard time accomplishing goals or feeling you have no worth or value, let me help you.