OUR BLOG

24 Oct 2019
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Quit Smoking – Mentoring Works

Sharing a Mentoring Story

I have been mentoring people my whole life but professionally since 2006 but it has been behind the scenes, via phone or email.

I’m located in American Fork but I can mentor clients nationwide via Skype or Facetime. I have been mentoring people since 2006 and I love seeing people move someone forward from their past challenges.

I have been working with a young lady for about two months and two weeks ago, she stopped smoking. She had been smoking for 26 years. She has tried to quit many times but has lacked the knowledge of how to manage the triggers when they came up. With the skills I taught her, she has moved forward in life and is finding happiness, joy, and excitement in life.

Need to Tell You Something BIG

She sent me a text that said, “I’m super excited to tell ya something BIG I accomplished and why I think I got so sick. Can we still meet tomorrow?…”

I was so excited to learn what this big news was I asked her, what happened? She said, “I quit smoking two weeks ago and my body was getting rid of the junk in my lungs.”

She said she woke up one morning and did not feel like smoking anymore and has had the strength to move forward with the techniques she’s learned.

I can help you too. You’re Amazing; Believe It! Below is one of the tools that she implemented and I discuss more.

Discover the Power of Vision Boards – Creating Your Story

I am excited to share with you some insights which I gained recently about the power of vision boards.

This morning I had a mentoring session with a young lady and an insight that came to me was the power of vision boards. I used to think that vision boards was a way to get this or get that, but in actuality, it’s about creating your story.

Imagine yourself as a tree, you started out as a seed and slowly grew into yourself, the current tree. Your tree is made up of your past and what’s going on currently. You have the choice to allow your history to hold you back or discover the lessons learned from the past to create your future.

Implementing a Vision Board

A vision board helps you to create your future, your story. You do not need to believe your story right now; this is the story that you are building. We will get into how you begin to believe your story later. While you are creating your story, allow yourself to believe as a child would don’t hold yourself back.

On your vision board, you will include 1 to 9 items that are goals that you want to achieve. These goals could be physical, tangible things or they could be personal improvements or a dream you want to accomplish. Items you want to have on a vision board is a picture and description. The image will simulate the feeling of achieving this goal or the physical object. The description will be a sentence of what it feels like to accomplish this goal or the literal words of you reaching your goal.

Let’s imagine you have a goal to go to Disneyland, an example of a description would be,

  • I love Disneyland. I’m saving up money to go.
  • The closer I get to going to Disneyland, the more excited I get.
  • I’m going to Disneyland.
  • The wind I feel in my hair as I ride the roller coaster, reminds me of why I wanted to come to Disneyland.

As you can see, there are different approaches to writing the description. The critical thing to remember is to make it work for you. What description fits you best? It’s your story, your vision board, create it!

Don’t allow your past to keep you in the past, identify the lessons learned so you can move forward.

Be Willing to Change – Stick Up for Your Standards

Can You Handle the Change

Change exists but can you handle it? Recently I was on social media, and there’s a lot of drama going on in politics, spiritual beliefs, etc… I am always told, “Never mix religion, politics, and business.” I completely disagree! If your religion, is part of you, how can you separate the two? You can’t, if you believe in what you believe.

I’m saddened that my daughter read some of the hateful things I was called, which created some pain in my her.

After thinking about it for a while, it opened up a good conversation, and we began talking. The points I shared with my daughter, are valuable for us all, especially our children.

In life, you will have to make decisions and the more you stand up for your beliefs, the more you get attacked. Because you don’t believe a certain way does not mean you have the right to attack others, you have differing opinions. The differing opinions help create balance in society.

Crossing the Line

The problem comes when we don’t agree with someone else, and we turn to violence. The violence I’m talking about can be physical, verbal, written, etc… If you start attacking someone else, you have crossed the line. Where is your line?

The line I’m referring to is your standards. Do you know? Do you have them clearly defined?

For example, I will not swear at someone. I will always step back, even when attacked and try to view it from the other person’s point of view.

About two years ago I was coaching my son’s basketball team, and we were losing badly. The score was 14-0, and several young men were ball hogs, meaning they would get the ball and shoot it.

I pulled all of the boys aside and did not narrow out anyone but said, “If you shoot a three-pointer, I will pull you out of the game.”

It wasn’t even 2 minutes and up goes a three-pointer from this same individual. I called time and pulled him out of the game. I sat down and talked with him a bit and all of the sudden his dad is in my face. Understand this is in the middle of the game.

At first, I had several immediate things run through my mind, punch and take him out; tell him to sit down and shut up; completely ignore him or engage civilly. While he’s yelling at me, I said, “I hear you. Thank you for explaining. I hear you.” I never yelled or fought back. He went and sat down; his son still sat on the bench.

When the game was over, he came up and apologized.

Lesson Learned

With all of the kids, I had set a standard. I drew a line that they could not cross, shooting three-pointers. As soon as I stood up for what I said, I was attacked.

You will be attacked as you stand up for things. As you change and implement some new tools, like what I’ve been teaching you, you’ll get people saying, “That’s stupid, it won’t work.” You may even start to attack yourself, set your standard and don’t go below it.

What are your standards? If you don’t know, start to define them today.

Tony Rhoton, Mentor, Coach and Speaker 801.787.5765

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