Before You React – Stop, Gather, and Go
The concept of, ‘Stop, Gather and Go’ is critical when you are going to have a crucial conversation or react to a situation. As you prepare to communicate or react to something your child, family, co-worker, boss or loved one has said or done, implement this strategy to keep the relationship strong.
Today’s lesson comes from my experience where I damaged a friendship, not meaning too, but I still damaged it. I didn’t think about how it may affect the other person.
Words Came Out Like BB’s Out of a Shotgun
I have never really liked going to the zoo. I feel like the animals are always depressed, lonely, and would rather die than be there. In this story, I overreacted to a young ladies daughter that was banging on a glass enclosure at a zoo. She was a friend, and I didn’t think before I acted, but I yelled at her child, instead of pulling her aside and talking in a calm, loving and caring voice.
I didn’t stop to think about what I was about to say or how to say it. Allowing myself to act instead of thinking about my intention or how it may affect the person. I never intentionally planned to hurt them, but I did.
I reacted and my words came out like BB’s out of a shotgun, and the results created some still lingering adverse effects after 19 years. Sometimes our words hurt people so deeply, they have a hard time forgiving and saying sorry does not repair it. I didn’t implement the first step, ‘Stop.’
Too this day, I have apologized many times, but the damage was done. I can’t change it and this relationship has never been the same. Matter-of-fact they moved away and we have not spoken to them for 18 years.
Always Stop, Gather Go
I wish I would have implemented Stop, Gather and Go, the results would have been drastically different.
Unfortunately, I did not implement, ‘Stop, Gather and Go’ with my children, too many times to count but since they live with me and I can express love and apologize over and over I have been able to repair any damage that I’ve done, I think?
This is how the strategy works if you implement it before you react to a situation,
Stop
Stop and think about what you’re about to do and ask yourself these questions:
- What is your intention?
- Desired outcome from your action?
- Purpose of interaction?
- Are you able to handle it correctly in your emotional state?
- Are you proceeding with love?
Gather
Gather your thoughts, feelings, and emotions so that you can handle things the way you should handle them.
Go
Go forward with love and compassion so that you can maintain the relationship. The more experience I gain, the more I realize we worry about too much frivolous stuff. If we approach life, with the hopes to help others improve their life and find happiness, we find ourselves and greater purpose and joy. We also realize that what’s most important in relationships.
If you mean it, the power of love can break down barriers when expressed over and over again.
Have this new strategy running through your head so that you can handle situations correctly.
Summation of Stop, Gather and Go
In summation, remember to Stop before you act; Gather your thoughts about what you’re going to do; Go forward with love and a desire to increase the strength of your relationships.
Knowing you’re human and that you make mistakes, I know there are too many times that you speak before you think. Please implement this strategy in your life and keep your relationships strong.
You’re amazing, believe it!
If you feel like you’ve hurt some relationships and have a desire to repair them, implement this strategy to heal damaged relationships.