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24 Jul 2018
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Frustrated with Life Feeling Worthless

 Are You Frustrated with Life Because Things Are NOT Working Out How You Planned?

I woke up at 3:30 am this morning and just lied in bed and I couldn’t fall back to sleep so I finally got up. Instead of being frustrated and angry, I sat down and asked Heavenly Father (my Higher Power), “What do you want me to do?”

I got the feeling I should listen to a certain talk. I don’t know why that specific talk but I felt good knowing that I listened, which got me thinking.

How many times in your life do you do something and you feel it’s what you’re supposed to be doing but it’s not working out? I belong to several mastermind groups and this morning one of the persons on the call was really down. I asked him what’s going on and he expressed his frustration about doing something for 5 years and it is coming apart.

He wants to keep working on his project and dream but his wife is wanting him to go back to work, move on.

My Greatest Frustration

One of the greatest frustrations I’ve experienced in my life is being held back from pursuing my dreams. I realized that when I have these moments, I need to look at the lessons I have learned. As I discover all of the things I have learned, I ask myself the next question,

“What should I do with all of this knowledge now?”

I take the question to my Higher Power and also I ponder it myself. In the process of discovery, I write down any and all thoughts, which are many.

When you start journaling and writing down your thoughts, lessons learned, etc., you stay in a creation mentality. Creation and solution mentality helps you to find answers to the problem you’re facing. You may need to take all of your lessons learned and apply them in a different way. Everything you have learned is going to help you in the future, it’s not for nothing.

You’re amazing, stay in creation and solution mode so that you can find the answers to your challenges. Here’s an example that happened after getting out of my frustration and pursuing my dreams.

Jane’s Story of Feeling Worthless and How She Overcame It

I would like to share a story, altered a little to protect confidentiality but the concept is based on a true story about Jane feeling worthless.

Meet Jane; she’s an amazing, beautiful and talented young lady in her 50’s. In the world’s eyes, she’s the epitome of success. Jane has a loving husband; he’s supportive, caring, kind, churchgoer, he’s perfect. Her children seem to behave so well that people envy her. Every week Jane goes to church and fulfills any tasks she’s asked to do. She has a smile continuously on her face. She has a perfect life or does she?

What you don’t know about Jane is that she struggles with the feeling she does not have any value or purpose in this world.

How Could This Happen

You may be wondering, “How could this be possible, she has everything?”

When Jane was young, her father was supportive but not around, and she would do everything she possibly could to get his approval. She was married for a short time before the man she’s married to now, and he cheated on her. As a teen, Jane had a boyfriend that mistreated her, teachers that said some harsh comments and her favorite dog died. Her mother worked full-time, and when she was home, there were so many children that she never got attention.

You may be thinking this is life. Yes, it may be, but this past life is holding her back. She’s allowing the trauma, the challenges, the struggle to prevent her from moving forward. Jane does not feel she’s worth anything and is continually trying to prove herself but still never getting what she’s seeking.

Her Experiences

Through her experiences, she has internalized that she is not worth anything and her brain has sorted it out to make sense. Here are some examples of things that were running through her mind:

If I was worth something, my dad would have spent time with me. Yep, there’s another example that I’m worthless because what the teacher told me. I’m obviously not worth anything because my husband cheated on me. Obviously, God doesn’t think I’m worth anything because he allowed my dog to die. If I was worth something …

Jane has spent a lifetime of beating herself up and giving herself validation and verification that what she thinks is correct.

She has thrown herself into work, children, family, but has never taken the time to take care of herself. She needs to love herself for how amazing and beautiful she is but how?

The Healing Process

Jane called me up and said,

“I’m hoping you can help because I just have this feeling of being worthless and having no purpose in life. Can you help me or am I a lost cause?”

I replied,

“Yes I can help you. You are not a lost cause, you’re an amazing woman but just don’t realize it.”

Jane: “What do I need to do?”

Tony: “Let’s get you scheduled and start regular mentoring sessions.”

Jane: “Let’s do it!”

Lasting Results

Jane has now been mentoring with me for awhile and has grown so much. After a few mentor sessions, she said, “You have helped me more than all of the therapists I’ve gone to throughout my life.”

You probably can relate to Jane and some of her challenges. No matter where you’re at, you’re not a lost cause. Your experiences may be different, but your feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness are unfortunately familiar with almost every woman I have met.

The statement, “You’re amazing, believe it! I’ll show you how.” Is not just part of my mission but it’s part of my life. Once you realize how amazing you are, how beautiful, talented and gifted you are, you can help your friends and family.

Healing starts inside

You know about the pain and suffering you’ve experienced in your life. You’ve discovered and processed a lot of it with therapists; however, you still have these feelings. I will teach you how to find value, worth, and purpose in life. I will show you simple techniques that will be easy to implement and use.

Here are a few techniques you can implement; however, each person is different, and you may need a variety of methods to use.

  • Writing – write down your feelings, frustrations, anger, and emotions, let it all out and then tear it up. (This is one technique many women and men have found helpful.)
  • Talk to a Tree – express all of the negative feelings, dislike, anger, resentment, and anything else you want to a tree. A tree has the fantastic ability to help heal you by taking your venting and filtering it. You will not hurt the tree.
  • Power Poster – this simple exercise is powerful and is essential in the healing process.

These techniques mentioned above are just a few, but start implementing these in your life to find healing.

I’m here to help you, schedule an appointment and let me help you realize how amazing you are!

Tony Rhoton – Life Mentor and Coach 801.787.5765

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