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22 Oct 2018
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Help Your Children Develop a Strong Self-Esteem

Help Your Children Develop a Strong Self-Esteem in a Suicide World

In today’s society, there are too many children that end their life because of low self-esteem or feeling worthless. It breaks my heart and I want to do my part to help them so I started trying to get speaking assignments at schools. While I was in this process of trying to get speaking opportunities, I received a very strong prompting:

“If you want to help the children, you must help their mom’s. The child will not get the help and support they need if the mom is struggling too.”

My direction changed that day and I started to focus on how to help women gain confidence, increase self-esteem and live an empowered life with value and purpose.

With that said, I know you need the tools to help your children so here’s one called the Hero board. The Hero board is a lot like the identity poster but children can relate and understand this one better.

Connecting with Your Child

Your child does not understand complex words and feelings to describe how they feel. If I child is asked how they feel it’s general terms like, happy, sad, or mad. However, there are over 4,000 different emotions so this does not really give much for you to work with. Ask a question like, “Who’s your hero,” You’ll get a blank look. Children do not understand this type of communication so you need to come down to there level, hence, the Hero board.

To help them find a hero, you ask a question like:

  • What’s your favorite cartoon?
  • Why do you like this cartoon?
  • Do you like (name of character) or (name of character) more?

After you have found out who they like, you help them create a Hero board.

How a Hero board works:

  1. Get a poster board, anything will do but it needs to be able to hang or tack on their wall.
  2. Get a picture of their hero that can be pasted in the center of their poster board.
  3. Write the positive characteristics of that hero on the paper while saying, “The thing I like about this hero is … and I think you are the same way.” Reinforce the positive characteristics your child likes, as well as, let them know characteristics you like in that hero because you see them in your child.
  4. Hang the Hero board on their wall where they can see it every day.

This powerful exercise can help you build your son or daughter up to be a confident person that does not give in to the pressures of the world.

Action Steps

  1. Schedule time within the next two or three days where you can do this activity with your children.
  2. Think about the things you really like about your son or daughter that you want to emphasize.
  3. Pray ahead of time to be able to connect with your child.
  4. Do the activity and take action; express all of the love and support you have for your child. Let them know you have confidence in them and that they can talk to you anytime. Again, reinforce your love for them.

You’re amazing; Believe it!

Let me help you and your family gain confidence, increase self-esteem and live empowered with value and purpose.

Call me today to schedule a speaking or a mentoring session 801.787.5765

Influence Your Children Without Them Knowing It!

Recently I talked with a mom that said, “It’s too late for me.” After listening to her a little more, she is referring to it’s too late to influence her children any more. However, it’s not, if you have a higher level of conversation.

A higher level conversation is having a spiritual conversation without them being physically present. Here’s how it works:

Step 1 – Write a Letter

The first step to having this conversation is being willing to write a letter and express everything you’re feeling. (Do NOT give this letter to them.) You write this letter in great detail. You may feel uncomfortable writing this letter because you will be expressing all of your feelings, good and bad.

Step 2 – Seclusion

With the letter written, find a quiet place, away from distraction so you can be alone.

Step 3 – Invite

Now that you’re secluded and away from all distraction, you will want to invite the person or person’s that you want to talk too. Audibly ask them to join you, remember this is not in person, this is spirit to spirit. Imagine them coming into the room and sitting next to you or across from you. Thank them for coming in and joining you.

Step 4 – Read

You have their full attention; they can’t argue, they can’t give you any attitude, so you are going to read this letter to them with full emotion. The emotion you were feeling as you were writing, make sure to express. If you were angry as you were writing the letter, express the anger you felt. If you were sad, upset or frustrated, express these emotions.

Step 5 – Build

You’ve read this letter to them and have gotten out all of the negative emotions that you’ve experienced, build them up. Make sure you build, encourage, inspire and express love to them.

I know there’s going to be some of you reading this, think I’m crazy. Please don’t discredit the value of this exercise because of its simplicity and uniqueness.

Try it and let me know what happens, please share your experiences with me.

I would love to help you improve your life and find purpose.

Parenting Tip: Valuable Lesson Learned Over the Weekend

In my communication with my children, I let them know they need to help me out. I told them we were going to do one hr of weeding, besides feeling like they were going to die all was going well, until…

I was working on removing a junk tree in our backyard, the Chinese Elm, blah. Anyway, I started looking around, and I couldn’t find my son, where was he? A few minutes later, I see him, and I ask, “What have you been doing?”

His response, “I’ve been cutting down the tree in the front yard.”

My Non-Verbal Communication – Blood Started to Boil

Instantly my blood started to boil, and I said, “You did what? Show me!”

Screen Shot 2018 07 17 at 11.56.22 AM
My son’s idea of helping.

I walked to the front yard, and this is what I saw, I’ve already removed the limbs from this photo.

He thought he was so helpful because he was removing the tree from blocking our view from the window. I was so extremely upset that I gritted my teeth and told him to get to the backyard and weed until I’m happy.

I was so angry that I knew I had to get rid of this anger somehow; I had to let it go. With all of the skills I have learned throughout life, I thought this would be easy. What I didn’t expect was a desire to hang on to the anger, the sense of power I was getting.

Recognize

Recognizing the feelings, I immediately started to do some let go techniques, and the first was to unclench my fist and open my body up. I noticed that I was clenching my fist and my muscles, holding and squeezing them tight against me. The message I was sending my body was, keep this power, anger and don’t let go of it.

It’s essential that when we are in any heavy emotion to recognize it so we can let it go. I realized it but noticed I didn’t want to get rid of it.

After noticing my feelings, The next step was to take action and to start asking questions.

  • Is it worth hurting your relationship with your son over this?
  • What’s the worst thing that could happen if you hold onto this anger?
  • What’s the worst thing that could happen if you let go of this anger?

Engage Logically

After engaging my logical and rational brain, I was able to calm down. When I took a moment to think about it, there is no way that I’m going to allow a tree to get in between my son and me.

It’s so important when you experience any high emotion, to separate yourself as much as possible so you can think clearly. Logically, it seemed silly to put a tree over my son, but that is exactly what I did with my anger. I was allowing that tree to hurt my relationship with my son.

Through the process of calming down, I was still angry, but I was manageable now. I sat down with my son and worked along the side of him, weeding. Realizing I was still extremely upset, I did not talk, but I was side by side with him, providing non-verbal communication of love.

Eventually, I apologized to him for getting so angry.

Parenting is not the easiest thing to do, but the rewards are the greatest.

Most Important Love Your Children

Support and love your children, despite what they have done. The love you give them now will empower them in their future.

kingtut

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